August 2011
2 posts
Muggles are not able to REBLOG this.
accioweasleyboys:
awwthatssotautological:
a-harry-potter-blog:
all the notes. holy crap.
at first the reblog button didn’t work for me, i was like FUCK FUCK FUCK but then it worked.lol.
It worked immediately. I’M HARRY FREAKIN POTTER!
Heheh<3
…looks like i got the magic in me. >:)
HA! FINALLY! after the 73902356504600th try! ;)
haha worked for me on the first try :P
May 2011
1 post
November 2009
31 posts
Also, catsforgold.com →
although, maybe only residents of the usa will really understand this one.. its based off a scam that far too many people here fell for (myself not included.. i have no gold to be scammed out of :D hahaha), called cash4gold.
Commuter Cat Is Star Of Bus Route →
at a local bar owned by a family friend, where my parents have spent their money for years.. on every friday the 13th, they do a little promotion. you get one chance - three dice, and if you roll a 13 you drink free all night. and my dad just rolled a 13. *sigh* getting out of the house tonight for sure. this can’t end well.
mliaverage:
Last night, my husband and I were playfighting. He had me in a hold and was tickling me. I shouted, “EXPECTO PATRONUM” at the top of my lungs and my cat came running in from the other room, scratched my husband across the face, then ran back out. MLIA.
bearjew
justlillian:
thank you for following!
holy cow,that was fast xD mmmm no problem ;D
tumblrisforfaggots:
“Oh!And please stop sucking dick,it is just making your nigro lips biigger.” So now we live in a world where I’m a negro, and sucking dick makes people’s lips bigger.
is it weird/bad that i’m really excited to know how to make my lips bigger? .. cause i am.
mliaverage:
Today, I looked inside my lunchbox, expecting to find my usual peanut butter and jelly sandwich cut in half. Instead, I find two dinosaur-shaped peanut butter sandwiches and a note from my mother apologizing for the absence of jelly. Apology accepted. MLIA
i HAVE this sandwich cutter!!!! yes. it rules my life.
mine’s blue, though.
today i showed up for work.. 33.5 hrs early. bahahah.
this actually happens embarrassingly often.
“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness, for lovely eyes, seek out the good...”
– Audrey Hepburn (via kari-shma) (via wendyomgzlol) (via yerawizardharry)
Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear | The Onion →
(via nickdouglas)
An illustration of what happens when you teach gay...
Teacher: And so you see, children, sometimes people get married to other people of the same sex.
Johnny: Sir? May I be excused? My eyes have suddenly started bleeding.
Teacher: Yes, of course, Johnny. Timmy -- will you escort Johnny to the nurse's office?
Timmy: I can't, Sir.
Teacher: Well, why not?
Timmy: Because my legs don't work anymore.
Teacher: Oh no. Oh, this is terrible. Quick, Louie -- run and get help!
Louie: Sorry, Sir -- I'm too busy taking drugs and fornicating.
Teacher: Oh no, Louie. Not *drugs*?
Louie: That's right -- drugs. Weird sex drugs.
October 2009
5 posts
really.
“you deserve better than walmart.”
“tell that to my wallet.”
“put the wallet on…”
“this is the wallet speaking.”
“wallet, although i am impressed with both your ability to speak and type, i must inform you that despite your fine work being a fully cognizant money receptacle, your work has been falling off as of late. i’m afraid...
September 2009
26 posts
Perks of the job
stuffmygirlfriendsays:
“I miss being a flight attendant. My uniform was cute, pilots flirted with me and I got to condescendingly teach people how to use a belt buckle.”
A pro-life activist comes over to my house for...
aedison:
“Oh, hey — I’m glad you could make it!” I’m smiling through gritted teeth as I speak.
“Yeah, me too. I’m sorry about all that unpleasantness at the protest earlier. I guess we both let our tempers get the best of us.” He seems sincere, but I see his eyes scanning around for… what? I don’t know. Maybe a pile of dismembered babies or something.
“Exactly. We’re both passionate people,...